Self-care. It’s a hot topic these days on articles and magazines. One member of my secret group Dream Girls Inner Circle shared that while we are encouraged to engage in activities that help our mental, emotional, and physical state, the older generation labels us for becoming narcissistic.
Self-care or loving ourselves takes a bad impression on others. So she asked, “when is self-care narcissistic?”
My self-care journey: I used to not care
I want to give my answer based on my personal experience.
There was a time in my life when I was a leader and a counselor in youth ministry.
So that was like for seven or eight years, when I was 17 I started to serve youths. Like to be a big sister to them. And every Friday they come to my house in large groups, I had girls from girls’ schools and boys from boys’ schools. It’s like unforgettable days on Fridays having 20 -30 kids at my house. We would sit in a huge circle, and I would share messages to inspire them. Then after that, we will worship Creator.
And that was a beautiful time of my life just loving on people. However, it was also the moment that I did not take care of myself.
You see, spiritually I was doing well, I was training at a school of theology. I knew a lot about spirituality, how to connect with the creator of the universe, how to move in the gifts of the spirit, how to serve people, how to love people.
At the same time, I was doing part-time work as a TV trailer producer on Sony Pictures Entertainment. Also, I was juggling with my university studies on mass communications.
I was doing a lot of things. I didn’t take care of myself, my emotional self, my mental self. I was busy serving, giving, and working hard for other people. I had to-do lists that are so long every day; I actually felt very good about it whenever I tick them off.
But while everything was looking like a pretty life, I was slowly crumbling inside. I had some things in my past come up, creeping up, I thought that could be solved by just sweeping it away and focusing on serving people no matter what.
We are taught not to live by what we feel. “You gotta keep showing up.” “You gotta be consistent.”
You’ve got to give to people selflessly. You’ve got to sacrifice. You’ve got to be hardworking.
These principles were the very, very thing that broke me and snapped me, that I became dysfunctional in my life for eight years. I was really diagnosed with severe, incurable mental health issues.
At one point in my life, I was talking to myself. I lost my mind.
This lowest point of my life is the reason why I’m so passionate about sharing the importance of self-care. I don’t want you to end up like me. Not every one of us is that extreme, I understand, but please don’t take your sanity for granted.
Thus, my point is this: While you take care of others, make sure to take care of yourself too. We can’t love others from an empty vessel simply because we cannot give what we do not have.
So how do we do self-care in a healthy manner?
Self-care: when is it healthy and not narcissistic?
Self-care is healthy when while you are taking care of yourself, you share with others too.
Self-care is not an excuse to stop caring for others. In fact, the contrary is true. When you are from a place of full of care and love on yourself, it will be easy for you to shower the same energy to other people surrounding you.
While I was recovering and committing to doing self-care activities, I was also committed to sharing it with others. Although I can’t do it personally because I was dysfunctional at those moments, I was doing it online.
You don’t have to give a presentation that is jaw-dropping to add value to your company.
You can add value to your company with the good energy you bring.
When you feel good in the morning, when you step into the office and you smile at someone and say “Hi, good morning.”
When you are in the public transport, and you bring in the good energy into that train box that you are in, you walk in, you look around because you are so, you know, fine-tuned, you are so charged, in your inner being, spiritually.
Not just that, but mentally, emotionally, you have good energy to bring.
And it’s not like you need to work hard for that.
It’s just you. It’s naturally you.
If you are someone who regularly takes care of yourself, by being with people who also take care of themselves, mentally, emotionally, and they don’t just do it for themselves.
When you have more, when you water yourself, when your life is fragrant, when your presence is fragrant, you can’t help but be a blessing to the people who are around you.
If you want to bring your self-care journey to a whole new level, I invite you to join the 90-day program towards claiming more peace, joy, abundance, and fun. The Wealthy Woman Journey is a program that has helped many high achievers live a life of restful success.
You can also join our secret group on Facebook: DREAM GIRL INNER CIRCLE.
This article is based on this IGTV episode.